Being

July 3, 2009



Many of us on a spiritual path have a great desire to be of service. There is a deep inner calling to serve. You know, to help each other and be there for each other. Our ego tells us that if we do certain things and sacrifice our lives for some cause that that is service. True service is not about doing anything. It is "Being," period!

To be or not to be, that is the service. Service is Being. It's not what you do. Now, when you are Being, things are certainly happening. But this "doing" comes from a totally different place then we would expect it to come from. It is coming from Being. It is coming from the Heart. From the Serene Center of Being within the Heart.  Not from a sense of building up brownie points toward our eventual admittance into heaven. Nor is it from, "I am doing this service for you." On the contrary, there is a tremendous sense of gratitude toward the other for the opportunity to Be-in service. Just by Being we are serving one another at the highest level.

In Being, the other really ceases to exist. Even you cease to exist as the doer of the service. Only Being exists, only God exists. Only Love exists.


To Be God is service.


To have recognition of our Divine nature and live it constantly is service. To dissolve all separation is service. To exist as the Oneness is service.

In Being, others get the opportunity to experience their greatness as God. That is service. Now, there really are no others. But you may know what I mean. I'm talking about those aspects of ourselves that believe we are cut off from God. In Being, eternity shines brightly as the never-ending present. Past and future have ceased to exist. Only this moment is. It is seamless and complete unto itself. In true service there is no ego. Only Being exists.


 

Releasing and Healing

June 17, 2009



It is now a time for releasing and forgiving.


Have you ever heard of "soul loss" or "soul theft"? Briefly: It's commonly noted as a "shamanic practice", I think of it as a "spiritual practice".

Soul loss could happen in a variety of ways, love, divorce, death of a loved one, and various other emotional and physical traumas and stresses that "wound" our spirit in some way.

Some people who experience this "soul loss" (loss of chi/ki/prana) may feel like something is missing, a huge void, unable to cope, depressed, loss of vitality and connectedness to life. They are unable to create a path of joy that was once available to them.

Soul theft is usually brought about by another person as in the case of mental, physical and/or emotional abuse. There is a facilator in this aspect that "wants control", or power over the individual. A person who is willing to relinquish their personal power to someone else is at risk for having it "stolen" from them.

I know wounds can run deep on many levels and in many cases traumas are buried in the subconsious or one just decides to "not think about it". And yes, much work could be done by the person to regain a balance. And it may not be easy.

However, I would like to address this on a very broad scale of our Own personal choice to heal on a level that we can do fairly easily.

Perhaps YOU have stolen a part of someone's soul and not know it? Has there been someone in your life that YOU have emotionally effected? How do you know who? Have those painful situations and circumstances in your past been healed? How do you know which ones? Have you forgiven in your heart and by your spirit those that have harmed you mentally, physically and emotionally? How do you know where to find forgiveness?

YOU could very well have created someone elses soul loss and you "could be" a thief to that person by spiritually holding their energy captive and not know it. How do you know?

Now being a "thief" is not negative because often we do not know what we do and we do not know the full emotional impact we may have on someone. So we cannot be "blamed" or judged in that regard because all souls are learning. There are times we don't mean to do something by ill intent. In this case this would be unconscious ignorance.

Any traumas relating to soul loss, fragmentation or energy holdings, however small, are held within the energy-body and can be cleared quickly.

"The trauma of an event is set in place virtually instantly, in the fraction of a second before our self-awareness can notice it. Years later, energetic regulatory systems continue to scan for this section of held-energy roughly 10 times/second (with each brain wave). Remarkably, stored trauma can be resolved as quickly as it was set in place."

So, if there is a *slight* possibility that you took someone's soul energy or you harbor residual energy from others for whatever reason, knowingly or unknowingly, even spanning years and years, ..isn't it time to release and forgive?

How do you know you've participated in "soul loss" or "soul theft". Simplistically speaking you don't. Since one may not know. For overall healing and health we have to say that we just don't know.

In order to aid in healing "what we don't know" I'm asking that you simply say while breathing slowly and deeply with feeling the following exercise mantra while in meditation or in your special quiet place of the mind and heart...

repeat 3 times with heart-felt intent

I release any soul energy that I may be holding captive for whatever reason.

I return the energy to the light and back to the person from which it came.

I release any hold I have upon another to restore to them what has been missing.

I forgive myself and the person I've been holding - unconditionally and with the heart of compassion.

I ask that your peace, love, light and joy fill my very being.

Upon the Wings of Light, it is done.

This is just for releasing other's energies not calling back or working with your own soul loss. However, one aspect of healing is first releasing, then receiving anything is a bonus. When energies are given back with compassion and feeling this facilitates our own healing energies and a transformation occurs automatically within us. A shift takes place.

It is time to give back what is not "ours". It is time to restore and do our part in healing others. It's imperative that we "clean up" our spiritual energies. It is time to release and forgive.

Can you imagine all those soul energy fragments returning? How much stronger this would make the energy matrix? How much clearer the vibrations would be? Can you imagine the impact this would have?



 

Life is MUCH Better When You Include God

June 4, 2009




The reason why we choose to live our lives through God is a very simple one. When we read the word of God, when we hear His voice, we are accepting the medicine of truth. In the modern world, where over six billion people compete for territory and are prepared to use any means possible to survive and succeed, and where media and communication has become the most important (and lucrative) of all industries, it is vital that we have something we can trust, something we can use as a test of veracity.


Who or what do you believe in? Is it something that has authority, a history, a good reputation, a massive following? Does it work in your life every day for the good? God the father is all of these things and does all of these things.

Without God our life is like a shop without any lights on. We stumble about bumping into the furniture, can´t see the faces of our customers, can´t trust any transaction that is made. Come into the light with God, the father of Jesus our Saviour, and you have sudden bright illumination. You have an ally to navigate you through the confusion of modern life.

We live in a society that has only the semblance of righteousness. It attempts to show that it cares. But at its core, it is primarily vain, selfish and ultimately self destructive. Get off that train. With God the mist clears. In the Lord all the things that are important become highly defined, beautifully appealing, easily attained. Life is easy, uncomplicated, straightforward, joyous, sensitive, peaceful. The moment you organise your life according to God´s priorities all the irrelevant trash of your previous life becomes cumbersome and unnecessary. You can put it all in the bin. You don´t need it to be happy.

When you wake up tomorrow morning, thank God, breathe in the air He gave you, and start to turn your life around.  In His Name.

Most people go through their whole lives without realising there is a better way of doing things. Many bump along from day to day, getting tied in knots, getting irritated, losing sight of the things that are important, and can´t see a way out. Others find themselves in intolerable situations with loved ones, exes, bosses, perhaps unable to pay bills or get satisfaction from the simplest tasks. Before they know it, their life has passed them by and they are left with an emptiness, alone, unloved. They wonder where it all went wrong. The stop and think too late about life and its deeper meaning. Don´t let this happen to you.

Yes, it is easy to become distracted, to take your eye off the ball, when you have a life to live, a job to do. But ask yourself a simple question. How much of what you do is absolutely necessary, and how much of it is just chasing empty goals? We at times manage to convince ourselves of the importance of what we do, that we need to hit such and such a financial target, that we need to consume x amount of goods. But rarely do we stop to meditate on the true relevance of all this. If we do, for more than a few minutes, we realise that probably as much as ninety per cent of the things we have to do in a day actually have no inherent meaning in themselves.

They may even be described as ludicrous. If you feel this about your life, take stock. How much time do you spend commuting, queuing, reading trivia, waiting for someone? It all adds up. Even important jobs like being a doctor or a policeman can often get bogged down with mindless trivia preventing these people from doing what they are good at, a vital job for the community.

Why do we allow ourselves to even get to this point? The answer is ridiculously simple. The answer is we listen to the lies people tell us. The best way to focus on what your life should be about is to forget the advice other people give. Listen only to those people you have respect for and whose lives you wish to emulate. Seek people who are at peace with themselves and who have successfully extricated themselves from the rat race.

God did not create the rat race. Man did. There is no reason on earth why your life should be no more meaningful than a rat´s. You have understanding, creativity, an urge in your heart to attain spiritual enlightenment, and when you have done so you will have found a better way to live through God.


 

Living Life...

May 29, 2009





Self-acceptance and self-knowledge indicate that you're on track.  Don't constantly attack yourself for being human and imperfect.  Stop using phrases such as, "If I had done this..."  or "If I had done that..."

These are useless and waste energy.  Take care of your body.  Take pride in ownership.  Don't deal in the past; this can be very debilitating.  Don't become overly emotional over small things.  If you do, then when the time comes for you to use that emotion for a larger purpose, you may feel that the "well has run dry."  Intellect never runs dry as emotions.

When emotions run dry, a vacuum is created and it sets up an identity crisis.  Then, you only feel like half of a person.  But rejuvenation follows as you wait for the emotions to build back up again.  Thus, expend emotion wisely.

Do you realize how often you create things?  Throughout your life, you create and you alone are responsible for your destiny.  Your life was fully planned by you, prior to you coming in.  All of life's joys and sorrows were known beforehand.  This is your chosen way to reach perfection.  You can change your life only when the soul knows that it's time to move to a different experience.

Ultimately, you'll experience everything you planned on, however painful, for the evolvement of your soul.  You never change your main path... just the little off-shoots.  The main highway always runs on a direct course.  You can take "sightseeing" trips off to the side, but you'll always return to the main road.  You view every single avenue and nuance of your path before you incarnate.  You see all the shortcuts and detours, and what you would do with them.  And you always ask yourself, "Will this add to my purpose?" 

This is why if you are veering too far off course, depression sets in.  The soul tries to remind you, through depression, that you're off track.  Physical illness may even occur if you get too far off.  For example:  if you do one trying task, you may get a headache.  If you do something else, you may get sick to your stomach.  What someone else can handle, or struggle with, doesn't necessarily mean it's something you must also handle.

Everyone has their own path to take.  Don't pattern yourself after someone else.  You may endorse someone or have great respect for someone, but your own path is your own path... as well as unique.  In this world, there is no one else like you.  You are unique and so is your path.


 

Accept People As They Are

April 24, 2009





You need good light to make a movie, is it not so? And then you need good darkness in which to show it. Isn't it funny? The cameraman says, "Oh, there is not enough light; we can't take the picture." But when they want to show the film, they turn off all the lights. So, what is important for a movie? Both. Light to take it, darkness to show it.

The minute you learn to respect and see both sides of the coin as equally good, you can enjoy both. You never hate anything. It is only a matter of your understanding and acceptance. Then you enjoy everything in life. Everything! There is nothing that is terrible, bad or negative in this life.

Let us have that light of understanding. Accept things as they are, people as they are. Don't demand anything. Don't put conditions: "Only when you do this does it prove that you love me." Rise above all this. Our attitude, our approach, our love should be unconditional. Simply accept people for what they are, as they are. Learn to love everyone and everyone will love you, no doubt. Then, life is worth living. The world becomes a heaven on earth for you.


 

Where Did I Come From?

April 15, 2009


WHERE DID I COME FROM?


I did not come from anywhere, because I was always here; just in a different realm; a different vibrational level.  The body comes and goes, but "I" am always here.  Where I come from, is a place that has no beginning in time and no end.  Where I go, is the same place.  There are no particular locations in space and time.  In a non-local universe, there is nowhere to go.

What is my purpose in life?  To be happy, to joyfully participate in the creativity and evolution of the universe.  Life is conceived and imagined by universal spirit, or consciousness... and all realms are imaginary forms of the spirit, which is doing it's "play."


What happens to me when I die?  Nothing happens, because I do not die.  Pure consciousness cannot be destroyed; it can only be expressed.  And knowing this, forces us from the fear of death because nothing in the universe is ever lost; it is only transformed.  So... when physical death occurs, nothing happens to us.  Certain lines of communication that use a certain nervous system have temporarily been disrupted.  However, we are still here.  The Soul doesn't go anywhere; it's the body that dissolves and returns to the earth.


Then... where is the Soul?  One of the biggest misconceptions is that the Soul resides in the body.  People may say, "This person died, and the soul has left."  That's not true.  The Soul is not inside the body... but rather, it projects itself "as the body" and the mind.  It finds a location in space-time, and broadcasts or telecasts itself through the body.  Just as the characters in a movie are not inside the television set when we're watching it, and musicians are not inside the radio when I'm listening to it... our Soul is not inside our bodies. My Soul is merely localizing or expressing itself through my body.


The Soul doesn't exist in space or time; it is beyond space and time.  Yet, everything we call "physical" seems to occupy some little place in space-time.  Our body occupies different locations in space-time.  Our thoughts occupy different locations in space-time.  We can therefore say that the Soul is transcendent (lying beyond the ordinary range of perception).


So when the question is asked:  Where is the Soul? We're not asking the right question, because "where" implies a location in space-time.  The Soul is everywhere and nowhere at the same time.  It's everywhere in general, and it's nowhere in particular.


The life force expresses itself through infinite transformations into this or that form, into this or that phenomenon... now appearing, now disappearing.  But the life force itself, is eternal; it's unchanging; it's all-pervading... and we are that force.  And the most outstanding characteristic of this field of intelligence is its aliveness.  When we go "on" we are born.  When we go "off" we die. 

Without the off, there would be no on.  In every off, the universe re-creates itself.  The off is also called the discontinuity (a break or gap).
Everything that we can think of... a chair, a color, a mountain, a thought, a rainbow, etc., is a different vibration of the same essence.  Something is vibrating and creating everything, and that vibration is happening in the presence of the Soul.  The Soul vibrates, and creates thoughts.

The Soul vibrates, and it creates the body.  The Soul vibrates, and it creates the whole universe.  To create is to bring into being, or existence.  And to create something new, we have to die to what is.  If we don't die to what is, then there is no creativity.  Something has to die for something new to emerge, and our Soul is constantly taking quantum leaps of creativity.

How did I get from here to there?  I don't know.  And not only did it get from here to there, it got form here to there "instantly."  There was no "time" for it to get from here to there... because it's a quantum leap.

Every death is an opportunity for a quantum leap of creativity.  Through death, we re-create ourselves at every level:  the material level of the body-mind; the intellect; the personality.  All of these have to die, in order to re-create ourselves.  With every death, we store the wisdom of our experiences since the beginning of time and take quantum leaps of creativity so that we can look at ourselves again, as if for the first time.

This means.. the Soul lives on after death.  But does the personality survive death?  Truth be told... the personality doesn't even survive while we are alive.  The individual we think of as "me"  is different from hour to hour, day to day, week to week, year to year.  The transformation after death is not a movement to some other place or time; it is just a change in the quality of attention in consciousness.  It is a condition or state of vibrational quality of our own awareness.  The world that we are experiencing with earth, the sky, plants and people... the sun and the moon, is a particular expression of consciousness at one particular frequency.

During material existence (in a physical body), our bodies are the expression of our Soul at a lower frequency, giving us the appearance of being localized in space-time.  We also have an astral body that accompanies our physical body... and mirrors all of its informational and energy content.  In death, the physical body disintegrates, leaving the astral body as the expression of our Soul at a higher frequency.


The essence of your being, is a changeless reality that creates an energy pattern that comes and goes.  This pattern, which is born and dies, and is constantly changing its name and shape, is the person you confuse yourself with.  You may think that a personal "I am" is the cause and source of all that happens to you, but this is not true.  You must let go of the idea that you are a set personality, fixed in space-time.  The personality is just an illusion.  What appears to be the personal "I am" is the universal "I am."


The real "I Am" is the whole endless process of pure potentiality, expressing itself in different disguises.  I am pure potentiality.  I am the universe.  I am whatever is happening.  If I look outside and see the stars and galaxies, that is what is happening... and that is me.  I am the light, I am the eyes that perceive it.  I am the music.  I am the ears that hear it.  I am the wind and I am the bird's wings that fly on it.  There is no other "I am"  than the one Being, the entire universe.

That which you call "yourself" is constantly undergoing change and transformation.  All is transforming, yet nothing ever dies.
So, too, we do not lose our Soul... our true essence, as we transform into all of these molecules, all of these minds, all of these bodies, all of these relationships.  Just as in life, so beyond death, there is continued transformation of that which we call the "individual."

What does all of this mean?  It all means one thing... and that's Being manifest by becoming.  Birth and death, and on and off, and pleasure and pain, and night and day... and the cycles of the seasons are just the cycles of Being and becoming.  When you know your true essence, you get in touch with that part of yourself that is beyond time and space... and the source of both.

By and by on this journey, you shed your habitual and conditioned responses.  As you do so, you become a spiritual master and transcend all suffering, including the fear of death.  You realize that the real you was never born, and therefore, can never die.  Only that which has a beginning has an ending.  That which never began, is eternal and always... and it is you.


 

Love, Not Judge

April 1, 2009


For most of us, judging ourselves and others is so ingrained in our constitution that we are not even aware that we do it. It’s just a way of life. We gossip about other people. We assign value to individuals before we even speak to them, determining if they are worthy of our time. We make assumptions about people by virtue of their skin color or the work that they do. We complain about our coworkers, colleagues, relatives, lovers and even friends! We are critical of the way people do things, what they think, how they talk, who they hang out with and what decisions they make in their lives.

We assign judgment to actions that happen to us, to experiences we have, to opportunities that come our way. Everything is either good or bad and when we do judge it to be bad, our response is not one of acknowledgment and discernment, but rather worry, fret, fear, disappointment or annoyance. In other words, we assign negative connotations and attach negative vibrations to things we cannot change…things in the past.


When it comes to ourselves, we are almost inevitably overcritical and judgmental. How often have you thought of yourself as not good enough, not smart enough, not accomplished enough, not attractive enough, not appealing enough, not fit enough, not healthy enough, not outgoing or adventurous enough, not graceful or feminine enough, not masculine enough? Before long, you really believe those things about yourself. You create your reality.

Judgment is everywhere in our lives. Wouldn’t it just be easier if we just accepted everything! If we could embrace everyone and every experience with equanimity. Simply the observation of an observer! “Oh isn’t that interesting?” And meet every new person and experience with a welcoming energy and intention. And if an experience complicates your life, you simply see it as a valuable “redirection”-- the Universe showing you that it is time to find alternatives, or that you must try harder to find a new approach. No action is inherently good or bad—it just is!
After wrestling with many of these issues myself, I began to create a new mantra, an affirmation that has helped me greatly and I want to pass along to you. When I find myself judging someone, myself, or an experience, I simply repeat to myself the phrase, “Love, Not Judge!” This is an ideal reminder that if I choose to vibrate love instead of judgment, it automatically opens me up to acceptance.  By opening myself to acceptance, I stand to receive more love. It’s a wonderfully perfect circle! And when I open myself up to acceptance, I become a powerful magnetic force for spiritual blessings and material  benefits. When that happens, we’re really humming along!

So I encourage you to try it on everything! So that food you were served by your host was a bit too spicy? Love, Not Judge! The suit your favorite uncle is wearing at Christmas is pretty ratty. Love, Not Judge! Your boyfriend gave you a sweater that you just cannot ever see yourself wearing. Love, Not Judge! You note the love handles on your hips and the wrinkles on your face.  Love, Not Judge!

Your b
oss is often demanding and unyielding. Love, Not Judge! Your wife asked you to stop by the store on your way home--again. Love, Not Judge! You are stuck in traffic and running late for a meeting. Love, Not Judge! You didn’t get that proposal of marriage that you so desperately wanted. Love, Not Judge! You were not invited to the cool kids’ party. Love, Not Judge! Your crop of garden tomatoes just didn’t make it this year.
Love, Not Judge!
Let go of judgment and open yourself to accept using this magic little mantra.

It is amazing the transformation that this phrase can create. Maybe not overnight, but it will unfold. When you get in the habit of spotting your negative critical judgments, and consciously eradicating them, you begin to raise your personal frequency. When you add the element of love and acceptance, then miracles happen!


So tuck this phrase in your pocket, hold it in your heart, stick it on your mirror and your computer, and write it on a piece of paper in your wallet. Do whatever you have to do to remind yourself that you have a choice of being a judge or being an accepting force for love!



 

Feeling "Entitled" ... that dreaded word (Entitlement)

March 31, 2009




For those of you who are not familiar with this common condition – entitle-itis is when we feel that someone owes us something, and we take action in our life based on this belief. Most folks believe they don’t suffer from this condition; however anyone with an ego can exhibit symptoms of this dreaded disease!

Entitle-itis occurs when we are so centered within our own dream of life that we cannot see what is happening in someone else’s life. Often we ask for favors from others without considering first what effect our request might have on them. We only know that we need something and we are going to get what we need in the moment. However this is ego expressing itself as we are not necessarily being thoughtful of others. 

It’s amazing how many people exhibit this condition in reference to their parents. Often we feel that our parents should behave the way we think they should and/or be available for baby-sitting or whatever. Or we expect our family to bale us out of every unpleasant situation we get ourselves into or give us money. Others feel their parents owe them an inheritance or that because their parents were unkind to them in their childhood (from their point of view of course) that their parents should have to pay for the error of their ways for the rest of their lives. I often observe people who are snippy and cutting whenever they can be as a way to get back at their parents. Truthfully, most folks don’t even hear the way they speak t their parents because they have no awareness of what they’re doing or why. But when others witness you in action you may be asked: Why do you talk to your parents like that?

Another example of entitle-itis takes place within relationship. For example, when we expect that our partner should know what we want or need, or that they should be there to please us or make us happy. Perhaps we expect that we are entitled to sex, a clean house or a daily meal. Maybe we feel that our partner should want to do the things we want to do, go to the parties and social events that we enjoy, or even have the same opinions about things that we do.

Another example of entitle-itis relates to my personal websites. Many people will email me to ask questions about information that is clearly displayed on my website. Why? Well because it is easier for them to email me than to take the time to look the information up themselves. Often folks get upset with me because they cannot open the newsletter, audio file or a download. But the truth is they have not taken the time to understand how their computer works and are projecting their frustration and impatience out on me. We do this same thing in our lives when we interrupt others to ask them where something is when we could have taken a minute to try to find it ourselves. There are so many examples of entitle-itis, the list is endless. The key is awareness. As students of spirituality it is up to us to take responsibility for our behavior and to stop this dreaded disease in its tracks.

Here are a few helpful things to help keep your ego in check:
• Understand first and foremost that no one owes you anything!
• When you ask someone for something, ask yourself first if you really need their assistance or are you being lazy?
• Just because you haven’t taken the time to figure something out, it doesn’t mean that others should take away from their time to teach you.
• Be aware of how you feel when you do not get what you want, and take responsibility for your unmet expectations rather than projecting your irritations outward onto others.

I encourage you all to invest in yourselves and do your best to become intelligent participants in life. This requires us to be responsible for ourselves and not to depend on others or feel like they owe us. Only a victim of life behaves this way.

Of course you can ask for help if you need it, but ask without expectations, and if you don’t get what you feel you need, then ask someone else without projecting your anger. If you do this, you will notice that people want to do things for you and your needs will always be met with love and grace. But this can only happen once you are generous and are no longer operating from your needy ego.


 

Letting Go

March 29, 2009




"How do I let go, God?"
God whispers, "Simply let go."
"HOW do I let go?"
God whispers again, "Just let go."
"HOW do I LET GO!?"
God whispering, "..open your hand."

"How do I love, God?"
God whispers, "Simply love."
"HOW do I love?"
God whispers again, "Just love."
"HOW do I LOVE!?!"
God whispering, "..open your heart."

Do we get so caught up in the "act" of doing and end up forgetting about just "being". We may hold something in our hands soo tightly in the cookie jar we forget, in order to get the handful of cookies we need to let go, in letting go we obtain what we most desire, albeit, one at a time...

We may hold angry and hurt feelings, emotions that hinder us from becoming who we are meant to be. In order to find that love we most desperately need, (human and divine love) we need to open our hearts, in letting go we obtain what we most want and desire, it is our inheritance.

How do we know if and when it comes time to 'let go' we won't be dashed to bits by unseen malevolent forces...the scary UNKNOWN!!

What is the UNKNOWN?
How do we know when to "let go"?

I believe the answer is found deep within. It's very subtle until you discover it by opening the eyes of your heart.

It's time to let go of any desire to possess. What does this really mean? Is it possessing feelings, emotions and ideas? Or locking yourself into what you perceived to be true? In clinging in order to possess, we cannot get our hand out of the cookie jar, in other words, we are unable to see any higher dynamic at work. We fail to see there is more for us waiting. Clinging too tightly does not allow for divine harmony and synchronistic events to occur for expansion of consciousness and the soul's growth. When we hold something so very true and dear to us, we fail to see other truths and opportunities knocking at our door.

Just because we don't sense things by the normal senses, we can simply "know" there are things beyond the norm on various levels. We don't see them, but they are real. We don't see the other side of the UNKNOWN because we have not learned to trust ourselves to look past any "walls" out of fear. In letting go we are saying "I trust you Spirit".

Trusting in Spirit of things we cannot tangibly see as a whole because of the vastness it encompasses, can be extremely tough for our minds to handle. When the heart speaks softly we listen more intently. We need to shift our focus to the heart for guidance when our minds cannot make sense of what is happening around us. Does this sound familiar??

I believe this "knowing" transforms into internal peace which lends us the courage to somewhat understand that.

"It's ok to let go"

"It's alright because you are most loved"

"You are protected and cared for"

"You are never alone"

"I Am always with you"

If Spirit says that, who are we to second guess the Divine? Yes we may stutter and say, "But, but, but, but..you have to be kidding me!"

After a while when the mind slows we understand and "know" it is the integration of Heart and Mind working together to let go *willfully* with strength and courage. I believe our lives our trained for such so when the time does come we can "let go" and "love unconditionally and consciously" to the very depth of our souls.

Remember the meaning of true Love and just "let go".

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain!


 

Self-Respect

March 25, 2009




Respect is love in plain clothes

Besides being ‘love in plain clothes,’ respect is a gift most people hunger for. Songstress and diva Madonna confesses: "I became an overachiever to get approval from the world." Unlike Madonna, however, most people don’t admit they desperately yearn for approval, appreciation, recognition, and respect. If I were to claim people are starving for recognition, would I be overstating the case? American psychologist William James (1842 ~ 1910) didn’t think so, for he wrote, "The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

Take another look at what William James wrote. He taught that we CRAVE approval; he didn’t say we NEED it. This is an important distinction, for just because we WANT approval doesn’t mean it’s necessary for our happiness. True, some psychologists teach that we NEED approval, but the problem is they are confusing the needs of a child with that of an adult. When I was an infant, I needed diapers, but as an adult I don’t need them any more (okay, that may be in bad example, for in a few more years, I may be needing them again).

Joking aside, an infant’s need for approval is genuine. After all, we have all read about cases in which infants have been disposed of in garbage containers by their confused and desperate mothers. Had enough time passed for the parent and child to bond, throwing the baby into the garbage would have been unthinkable. The need for approval doesn’t end with infants. For young children also need approval from their parents to develop confidence and feelings of self-worth, without which they’ll be unable to cope in the world as adults.

Mature adults are independent and do not need the approval of others. How many brilliant thinkers, visionary leaders, imaginative inventors, and creative artists were laughed at and scorned by the then unappreciative masses? Fortunately for the world, those who were ahead of their time did not let the disparaging remarks of others stop them. If the world is to benefit by our contributions, no matter how small they may be, we must follow the examples of those brave souls who did what they thought was right with no regard to the criticism they received.

When you look for approval from others, you lose the freedom to be yourself. The Latin Poet Claudius Claudianus, who wrote nearly 1600 years ago, expressed the same idea, "The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping." Even more to the point was The Tao Te Ching, which was written in China about 2400 years ago. In it, it says, "Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner."

Yet, many people still believe they NEED the approval of others for their happiness. Their minds are full of destructive thoughts such as: "I CAN’T STAND IT when people disrespect me. I HAVE TO be appreciated by others because if I am not, that means I am WORTHLESS. I MUST get the recognition I deserve from others." As adults, we are capable of rational and critical thinking, and we need to use it to dispute and challenge any ideas that threaten our happiness.

Let’s begin by using critical thinking to analyze the above negative thoughts. "I CAN’T STAND IT when people disrespect me" really means "I AM UNHAPPY when people disrespect me." Who says you can’t stand to be disrespected? Who says you CAN'T LIVE without approval, CAN'T STAND being rejected, HATE to be ignored, and MUST get attention? You do! You make your own rules for life. But why would you want to make rules that work against you? Don’t you realize it’s impossible to be appreciated by everyone? Isn’t it impossible to go through life without being disrespected by someone? So, if you believe that you MUST be appreciated to be happy, you automatically condemn yourself to unhappiness! Does that make sense? Is that rational? The lesson, then, is don't demand approval. Don’t expect it. Simply prefer it. We don't need approval from EVERYONE any more than we need an unlimited amount of food. Obviously, we need SOME food for survival and happiness, and so it is with approval.

Besides, what is this nonsense about not being able to stand it? What exactly will happen if someone disrespects you? Will you melt? Change into a pillar of salt? Explode into a thousand pieces? No, you will simply fume. Why will you get angry? Because you made it your rule. So, change the stupid (irrational) rule. Change it to: I not only CAN but WILL tolerate disrespect and criticism from others because my happiness is more important than their weaknesses. Aren’t others rude to you because they feel threatened by you, feel insecure, lack confidence, or are jealous or envious? Why get upset about THEIR weaknesses?

Let’s anayze the second negative thought, "I HAVE TO be appreciated by others because if I am not, that means I am WORTHLESS." The first part of this thought means, "I will be UNHAPPY unless I am appreciated." That’s just a stupid (irrational) rule, so change it for the reasons already given. The part about being WORTHLESS is equally irrational. Will the value of the Mona Lisa decline if you do not appreciate it? Of course not! Why will your value disappear just because someone does not appreciate it? The answer, obviously, is it will not fade or disappear, but remain intact. So, give up that silly notion.

Now, let’s look at the third, and final example of a negative thought: "I MUST get the recognition I deserve from others." The first part is based on an irrational rule ("I MUST"), so change the rule. As for the rest of the negative thought, what’s the problem about getting the recognition you deserve? I always get the recognition I deserve. I get it from myself. Why would I need someone else to tell me what I already know? Don’t YOU know when you do something worthwhile? Isn’t that enough recognition? Admittedly, it’s always NICE to be recognized by others, but it isn’t NECESSARY. So, don’t make your happiness contingent on the whims of others. As long as we strive to become a VALUABLE person instead of a RICH person, we will receive all the self-approval we hope for.

It is helpful to remember how much others want to be accepted and appreciated. Why? Because armed with that knowledge, we can make their lives more pleasant by treating them with respect. Not because we are obligated to do so, but because we want to do so. For like St. Francis de Sales (1567 ~ 1622), we will come to realize that, "God is present everywhere, and every person is his work." So, you see, when we become bearers of gifts and offer our approval to everyone we meet, we become more than kind; we become Godlike. A worthy ambition, don’t you agree?




 

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